matematikk.net

A physicist, a chemist, and a mathematician get stranded on a desert island. The only food they have is canned food so they are trying to figure out how to open it. The chemist says, "why don't we let it soak in the ocean for awhile and wait til the sea salt erodes the metal and we can get to our food!" The physicist says, "No that will take too long. Lets calculate the trajectory so we can catapult the can into the air so that it lands on a pointed rock and the can bursts open!" But the chemist doesn't like that idea and they continue to argue back and forth for a long time, until they turn to the mathematician and ask him what he thinks they should do. The mathematician says, "Assume we have a can opener..."

A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.
e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"
diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"

Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman. The fire chief says, "Well, you look like a good guy. I'd be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test."
The firechief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spicket, and a hose. The chief then says, "OK, you're walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?" The mathematician replies, "Well, I hook up the hose to the spicket, turn the water on, and put out the fire."
The chief says, "That's great... perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you're walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?" The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he finally says, "I light the dumpster on fire." The chief yells, "What? That's horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?" The mathematician replies, "Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I've already solved."



A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.
First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologists: "They have reproduced". The mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."

To tatt fra et annet forum :

Your mother is so fat that the escape velocity at her surface exceeds [tex]3 \cdot 10^8 m/s[/tex]

Ble det stille her? Synes denne var veldig koselig:

Så søtt!

Med mindre det var realfags-dame tviler jeg på at jeg ville kjørt på med den der.

Emomilol skrev:

Denne her var litt for dyp for meg. Henger det sammen med noe av det som skjer med oppfatning av tid og rom, når man nærmer seg lysets hastighet eller noe?

Les mer om blue/red-shift:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_shift
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshift

doppler effekten altså (?)

Jepp, samme prinsipp men her med andre bølgelengder.

To perler jeg fant:

1:
Two male mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.

The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer one third x cubed.

She repeats "one thir -- dex cue"?
He repeats "one third x cubed".
Her: `one thir dex cuebd'? Yes, that's right, he says. So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, "one thir dex cuebd...".

The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?".
The waitress says "one third x cubed" and while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder "plus a constant!"


2:
A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
"What else do you have?" asks the student.
"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.
Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"
The pharmacist says "Wait just a moment", and goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter.
"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.
The pharmacist replied "Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow."

Når captcha ikke er nok: http://www.bildr.no/view/189067